Segnale Skill: No Skills of Smiting - This will conjur up a face of David Perry screaming "No Skills for You" at your foes vanquishing them into remorse and shattering their souls causing them to leave the game.

New Items!!

Cursed Argates - Argates that mimic Coppers, Silvers, or gold that will drop your +8 weapon down to -9, so everytime you hit a foe you'll be instead hitting yourself wondering why did you DO THAT!!

Bling Bling Chain - Gives you an experience boost of 30%, except that you'll be listening to rap music for the entire duration.

New Game Engine!!!

After acquiring the Unreal 3 Engine from Unreal Tournament 3, Acclaim has brought to you improved graphics, featuring location-based damage, superb graphics, new bump maps and texturing, etc. Sorry this does not fix disconnecting, lag, or hackers, we just wanted to give you something flashy and nice!

So there you have it, No Moons Rising will be the pinnacle achievement that David Perry envisioned for this game, here what the beta testers had to say:

OMG!!! THIS gAme is Sooo FuNNNN!!! ~David Perry

I lost my kids, my wife, my dog, my chevy truck and a kidney because of this addicting game and I am so happy I got level 169! Eat that biotches!! ~Uncle Cleetus

Because of the beggars, I never have to seek attention ever again, they just come to me and I giveee, it definitely boosted my self-esteem!! ~Brittany

How dare you copy the Hoover name into your game!! But hey if it wasn't for your fine tuned game mechanics I might've never expanded my vacuum company to market for gamers. Thanks for everything, Acclaim ~Hoover CEO

This game is soo awesome, I'm gonna make a movie on it! ~Uwe Boll 2moons gold

New Moons Rising coming out whenever we announce it!!

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction, the writer doesn't want to incite flame wars and was just poking fun at the game.